


Weight of Your Love

by KaylaRachille



Series: We'll Bare This Weight Together (An Asher/JJ Story) [2]
Category: All American (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Best Friends, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Character Development, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Developing Relationship, Dinner, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, First Dates, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Self-Doubt, Sequel, Showers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:14:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29294244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaylaRachille/pseuds/KaylaRachille
Summary: Sequel to my story called'Weight of The World':As Asher and JJ navigate their way through their new relationship Asher is having a hard time accepting that he is worthy of having someone as amazing as JJ in his life. But JJ assures Asher every day that he is who he wants and that he loves every part of him - both the light and the dark. The question though that remains between them is if Asher will ever be able to fully accept JJ's love.Snippet from Chapter Three:“I'm so glad you're here with me Ash,” JJ tells him as he cups either side of his face as he leans in close until their breath tickles against each other's skin. “Thank you for coming.” He says closing his eyes as he lets Asher be the one to connect their lips in a deep, passionate kiss.“Thank you for asking me over,” Asher whispers against his lips after they pull back for some air.“Of course, Ash,” JJ tells him with a wide grin as he takes his hand interlacing their fingers together after Asher slips off his shoes.(Set during Season Three)
Relationships: Asher Adams & Jordan Baker, Asher Adams & Olivia Baker, Asher Adams/JJ Parker
Series: We'll Bare This Weight Together (An Asher/JJ Story) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170125
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. Our New Reality

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, yall! 😊
> 
> I am so excited to be posting the first chapter of my sequel to my previous story called _Weight of The World_. So, if you haven't already read that story then please read it first before you read this one! 
> 
> So, this sequel is going to be all about Asher and JJ falling in love and reassuring each other that they are always going to be there for each other no matter what.
> 
> And in this chapter, Asher and JJ will be freely showing off that they are now together and they will be having their first date!
> 
> Please enjoy it! <3
> 
> P.S. A fun fact about this story is that I wrote 80% by hand while I was without electricity and water as my state (Kentucky) and many others were experiencing an ice/snow storm. So, even though it was a trying time I was blessed to have heat and food and I made it through just fine. But it for sure made me extra grateful for all that I am blessed with on a daily basis. And I hope that if any of you experienced the storm as well or if any of your family's/friends did that y'all made it through it okay and that everyone is doing good now too! 😊

On Monday morning after he had admitted his feelings for Asher once the excitement of winning the state championship game on Friday night had vanished leaving behind only the dull ache of longing that had been building in his chest for weeks on end JJ looks over to his boyfriend who is sitting in his passenger car seat staring straight ahead at the brick school building in front of them.

“We don't have to do this today if you're not ready Ash,” JJ speaks up from the driver seat as he places a comforting hand on Asher's shoulder which is just enough contact to calm his nerves but not intimate enough to cause any second glances from anyone passing by the car or for any rumors to be whispered about them in the hallways. 

“I want to do this though,” Asher affirms as he grabs ahold of JJ's hands that was resting between on top of the console.

“Only if, you're sure.” JJ says as their gazes lock and he is relieved to not find any hint of apprehension in Asher's ocean blue eyes. 

“I'm sure.” Asher tells him with a nod before he turns to open the car door pausing with his hand on the door handle as he turns back toward JJ. 

“Forget something?” JJ asks with a smirk watching with an intense stare as Asher leans in close. 

“One of those ‘you can do anything’ kisses that you promised to always give me when I need it.” Asher says against JJ's smirking lips before he presses a deep thank you kiss to his lips. 

“And I will give you as many of those kisses that you need. And all of the regular kisses too for free.” JJ tells him with a wink after they pull apart.

“I'm counting on that.” Asher says with an almost shy smile before they get out of the car. 

“Ready?” JJ asks as he steps up next to Asher on the sidewalk. 

“Ready.” Asher states taking JJ's hand in his own as he interlaces their fingers together before they walk side by side toward the school.

“After you Ash.” JJ says as he holds the door open for his boyfriend with an easy smile flashing across his face. 

“Here goes nothing.” Asher breathes out as he and JJ walk hand and hand down the familiar hallways that he is seeing today with brand new eyes. “No one has even noticed that we are holding hands.” He observes in a low voice leaning in close so that only JJ can hear him after they pass by three football players.

“Maybe no one is paying attention.” JJ states pulling Asher in closer to his side as if they are about to run a three-legged race after noticing how most of their fellow students have their eyes glued to their screens as they walk past them. 

Asher waves to Olivia and Jordan when they turn the corner to find them leaning up against the lockers beside of his own as he forgets that he is even holding onto JJ's hand since they are now in front of their best friends.

“That'll be twenty dollars, Jay.” They overhear Olivia tell her twin noticing how they are wearing amused smiles on their faces as they turn their attention to their joined hands.

“Another Baker twin bet I see. What was the wager for this time?” JJ questions watching as Jordan reluctantly hands a twenty-dollar bill to his twin from his wallet before he briefly lets go of Asher's hand so that he can slide off his backpack as he switches out his books for his morning classes.

“We had a bet running on how long it was going to take for you two to get together.” Jordan explains sharing a smirk with his twin.

“Oh, yeah and how long were you two guessing that it would take for us to get together?” JJ asks playing along with them as he takes ahold of Asher's again after he shuts his locker. 

“Jordan was guessing that it wouldn't be until Winter break. And I guessed that it would by the end of football season.” Olivia tells them making a show of placing the twenty-dollar bill into her wallet. 

“We were both wondering why it took you so long though JJ.” Jordan teases thinking back to how obvious JJ had been with all of the longing looks that he had sent Asher over these past few months. 

“Yeah, why did it take you so long JJ?” Asher asks teasingly with a playful smile.

“I had to make to sure that the timing was right so that I didn't lose this one.” JJ explains placing a quick kiss to Asher's temple.

“I don't think you have anything to worry about JJ,” Olivia exclaims as she notices how Asher's cheeks flush a bright pink as he sends his boyfriend a bright smile. 

“He doesn't.” Asher affirms with a determined nod.

“I'm so happy for you Ash.” Olivia tells him before she wraps her arms around him for a tight hug. 

“Thanks, Liv,” Asher tells her with his head lying against her shoulder before she pulls back so that she can give JJ a hug too.

“I am happy for you both too.” Jordan tells his two best friends as he steps across the hallway to share their secret handshake with each of them. 

“Thanks, man,” JJ says as he steps back next to Asher interlacing their fingers together once more.

“So, when is the first date going to be?” Olivia wonders as they start to walk toward their first classes of the day. 

“Yeah, when is our first date going to be?” Asher asks with a teasing smile as he plays along with Olivia's lead.

“It's going to be this Friday.” JJ announces with a matter-of-fact tone. “I'm just working on the last few minute details.” He explains with a smile knowing that Asher is going to love what he has planned for them. 

“We should have a triple date sometime,” Jordan suggests watching his best friend's faces to gauge their reactions.

“Yeah, we'll have to get something together soon.” JJ agrees giving Asher's hand a gentle squeeze to let him know that they will only go on the group date whenever he is ready to.

“I'm looking forward to that. But I'll see you guys at lunch.” Olivia says over her shoulder after the second warning bell rings before she disappears up the stairs for her first class. 

“I'll see you two lovebirds in third period,” Jordan tells them with an amused smile

“Lovebirds?” JJ repeats the word as a question as he shares a happy smile with Asher at the thought of them being described in such a way. 

“I'm just calling it like I see it, Parker,” Jordan explains with a wink.

“Right,” JJ says shaking his head before he pulls Asher along with him to their first class. 

“So, _lovebird_ what is it exactly that you have planned for us on Friday night?” Asher asks after they slide into their desks as he turns around to face JJ.

“It's a surprise for now. But it involves balls.” JJ explains biting back his laugh when Asher's eyes widen as he tries to figure out what they are exactly going to be doing on their date. 

“As much as I want to do _that_ with you. I thought you would at least buy me dinner first.” Asher says in a low tone so that no one overhears their conversation. 

“Oh, don't worry I'll be buying you dinner first before we do anything else,” JJ promises his boyfriend wishing that he could seal his promise with a kiss, but he settles for a gentle squeeze of his shoulder instead. 

***

On Friday as Asher drives them back home from their first date he looks over at JJ as they come to a stop at a traffic light, and it almost takes his breath away at how the golden orange evening sunlight is shading his already tan skin a darker shade and it has colored his hair platinum blond hair a tinge of gold at the ends. 

“Admiring the view?” JJ asks with a smirk as he slides his sunglasses down his nose so that he can look his boyfriend in the eyes without the dark tint of lenses distorting his own view of Asher’s face and how it is flushing a dark shade of red. 

“Actually, I am,” Asher answers after he clears his throat glancing up to the traffic light to find that it has already switched over to green and he's thankful there are no other cars behind him to blow at him to go on. 

“Remember there is always more of this view to see,” JJ says as he leans over the console so that he can press a kiss by his ear before he bites lightly at his earlobe. 

“I’m well aware,” Asher tells him trying his best to keep his focus on the road ahead of them and his hands on the steering wheel as he wants nothing more than to pull JJ in close and run his fingers through his perfectly styled hair as they kiss. 

“Anytime babe,” JJ whispers in his ear before he presses another kiss next to Asher’s ear before he uncurls his right hand from around the steering wheel as he interlaces their fingers together after they had made a right turn onto his street. “Today was a lot of fun.” He says before he presses a feather-light kiss to the back of Asher’s hand. 

“Yeah, it was.” Asher agrees with a nod as he slows down once JJ’s house comes into view. “But I’m calling a rematch for another game of mini golf sometime though.” He states before pulling into the Parker's long driveway.

“You just won’t let it go that I beat you fair and square, will you Ash?” JJ playfully accuses as he lets go of Asher's hands so that he can put his car in park.

“I wouldn’t really call your sixth stroke at hole eighteen as a win JJ,” Asher exclaims with a wide grin as he clicks off his seatbelt before turning in his seat so that he is facing toward JJ.

“Hey, it’s not my fault that the golf ball bounced back out of the clown’s mouth and just magically reconnected with my club,” JJ explains in 

“Huh-uh is that so.” Asher says eyeing him with a look of mock skepticism.

“That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.” JJ states before they both let out loud laughs, they had been trying to hold back but failing miserably as they tried to stay serious. 

“Okay I’ll let you have the victory this time Parker but next time that we play be _ready_ for a real game,” Asher tells him as he extends out his hand across the center console.

“Oh, I’ll be ready Adams so bring it on,” JJ says giving his hand a firm shake before he interlaces their fingers together.

“But I really did enjoy our first date JJ,” Asher affirms with a bright smile enjoying how easy it's been for him to just be his self around JJ. 

“I know you did because your smile says it all,” JJ observes finding an identical smile spread across his own face as he thinks he hasn't seen Asher look this happy in months. “I’m really glad that you’re feeling a lot better Ash.” He tells him before pressing a soft kiss to the back of his boyfriend's hand relishing in the progress that Asher has made in just a few weeks. 

“Me too. I didn’t think it was ever possible for me to be happy again.” Asher says dropping his eyes to their joined hands.

“Well, I'm glad that you are happy now Ash,” JJ tells him as he gently places his hand other Asher's chin so that he can lift his eyes up once more so that their gazes can lock.

“I owe a lot of my happiness to you JJ.” Asher exclaims with tears of gratitude shining in his eyes at how having JJ in his life as both his friend and now as his boyfriend has brightened his days so much. 

“Likewise, babe,” JJ whispers flicking his eyes away from Asher's gaze down to his lips. “Can I kiss you?” He asks leaning in close until their noses touch.

“You don't have to ask,” Asher exclaims feeling his cheeks burn at their close proximity which he is still getting used to. 

“I wanted to ask because I am about to kiss you in ways, I haven't kissed anyone before,” JJ explains leaning back slightly so that he can look Asher in the eyes to convey how sincere he is being right now. 

“Kiss away.” Asher gives him the lead way that he didn't even have to ask for.

“My pleasure,” JJ says before he presses a hungry kiss to Asher's slightly parted lips that earns him a low moan from the back of his boyfriend's throat. 

Asher eagerly allows JJ's tongue the entrance it asks for as he reaches his hands to his shirt so that he can unfasten the annoying number of buttons. 

“Do you want to come in?” JJ asks when they reluctantly pull apart so that they can inhale quick breaths of oxygen.

“I’m not ready for that just yet. I’m sorry.” Asher answers instantly recoiling from JJ's touch as he is afraid, he has just ruined everything with his blatant refusal to take their relationship to the next level. 

“Hey, no worries,” JJ assures him as he pulls Asher back in close before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “And anyway, I don’t mind having a hot make-out session in my boyfriend’s car with my hot as fuck boyfriend.” He exclaims before he pulls Asher by his hands guiding him over the center console being careful not to knock the car out of gear.

“Are you sure you don't mind?” Asher asks chewing on his bottom lip after he makes himself comfortable on JJ's lap.

“Hell, no I don't mind,” JJ tells him as he runs his thumb along the sharp curve of Asher's jawline.

“Can I kiss you?” Asher asks leaning his face in closer until their hot breaths brush across each other's sweat-slicked skin.

“You don't have to ask me that,” JJ repeats Asher's words from earlier. 

“Well, I wanted to ask you because I'm about to kiss you in ways that I haven't kissed anyone before,” Asher explains as he trails a sloppy line of kisses down JJ's neck.

JJ lets the deep passionate kiss he presses to Asher's lips be his answer as he slides his hands up under his boyfriend's shirt.

Asher thinks that he can get used to their new reality very quickly as he breaks apart from their kiss for only a second so that JJ can pull his shirt over his head as he slides JJ's unbuttoned tropical flower printed shirt off his shoulders before their lips connect once more.


	2. Lean on Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asher is experiencing his first depressive episode since being on his medication and JJ is there for him when he needs him the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, y'all! 😊
> 
> I am so excited to be back with another chapter of this story and I hope that it finds each of you doing well! I'm sorry that it took me longer than I was expecting to post this chapter!
> 
> So, in this chapter, JJ will be there for Asher during one of his most vulnerable moments.
> 
> This chapter is a little longer than the last one, so I hope that's okay! 
> 
> Please enjoy it! <3
> 
>  **Please Note:** This chapter does contain several topics such as depression, suicide, suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts that could be triggering to some of you. So, if any of those topics could be triggering to you than please read with extra caution and care! <3

On Friday morning a week after Asher's first date with JJ opening his eyes with the sound of his alarm stirring him from his sleep as the happiness that their date had brought him is instantly replaced by the heaviness of his depression that he hasn’t felt since he has been on his medicine pressing down on his chest and settling into his bones with an unwelcomed sensation causing his body to ache.

He groans burying his face deeper into his pillow before he pulls his comforter over his head completely ignoring his alarm that is gradually getting louder as it continues to go off.

“Asher?” He hears his dad call after he knocks hesitantly on his bedroom door.

The only response that he can give his dad is another groan as he buries himself further into the mattress.

“Asher are you okay?” Harold asks after he opens the door to find his son is still in bed as he moves over to the dresser to shut off the shrill-sounding alarm on his son's phone.

“Dad…” Asher says in a low voice feeling tears burn in his eyes at the embarrassment of feeling this heaviness once again floods through him.

“Hey, what’s going on son?” Harold asks stepping across the carpet closer to his son’s bed as he swallows nervously waiting for him to answer him.

“I’m sorry.” Asher apologizes with a stray tear escaping from his tightly shut eyes leaving behind a salty trail as it falls down his cheek.

“It's okay son. Just tell me what’s going on.” Harold assures his son trying to keep his nerves from edging into his voice.

“I'm feeling _it_ again,” Asher whispers before he uncovers his head taking a cautious glance up at his dad hating how he sees a look of fear mixed with the worry that is shining brightly in his eyes.

“The depression or…” Harold inquires unable to say the words _suicidal thoughts_ aloud praying that it is only the depression that has shown its ugly face to his son once more.

“Yeah, just that. It’s so heavy today.” Asher exclaims in a strained voice before he breaks down into sobs.

“Hey, it’s okay son. I’m right here.” Harold promises his son as he rubs comforting circles on his back.

“I thought this feeling was gone,” Asher states feeling frustrated that he has found himself in this position again.

“Dr. Isaacs told us that you could experience depressive episodes even on your medication,” Harold recalls the words the psychiatrist told to him and Gwen that leave behind a sour taste in his mouth since he hates that he can't take this darkness away from his son.

“Will this ever go away, dad?” Asher asks biting down on his bottom lip in an attempt to hold back more tears that are threatening to fall from his bloodshot eyes.

“I don't know son.” Harold tells him as he sits down beside him on the bed feeling frustrated that he can't tell his son that what he is feeling right now won't ever come back. “But no matter what happens I am always going to be right here for you.” He assures him before pulling his son in for a hug.

“Thanks,” Asher whispers with a loud sniff after he pulls out of their embrace before he hastily wipes away his tears.

“Have you taken your medicine yet this morning?” Harold asks even though he knows the answer because Asher hadn't shown him the correct dosage laid flat in his palm like every morning.

He wants so badly to tell his son that he doesn't have to show him anymore because they are well past the two-week threshold that the psychiatrist instructed them to do.

But he knows that Asher has continued to show him that he is still taking the correct dosage as an extra reassurance that he won’t end up with a mouth full of pills again.

“No,” Asher answers shaking his head slightly.

“Okay. I will be right back.” Harold tells him sending him one last long look at his son before he quickly walks to the bathroom to search in the medicine cabinet his morning medicine.

“Thanks, Dad,” Asher says after his dad hands him the two pills and a half bottle of water from his nightstand.

_One dose of anti-depressant medicine._

_One dose of anti-anxiety medicine._

Both the father and son equally hoping that the medications will help Asher to feel less of the effects of his depression today if only just for a little while.

“You’re welcome, son,” Harold says with a nod watching intently as Asher swallows both pills before he allows himself to exhale.

“You're going to be late for work dad,” Asher states after he glances over to the clock on the wall above his desk to see that it is almost eight o’clock now.

“The office can handle one day without me there,” Harold tells him waving away his son’s worry.

“Dad I'll be okay. You can go in.” Asher says pulling the sleeves of his sweatshirt over his self-harm scars since he doesn’t want to be reminded of that part of his past today.

“Don't worry about me, Asher. We’re going to be fine.” Harold assures his son as he lightly pats him on the shoulder in an effort to ease the worry that is displayed in his blue eyes that match his own. “All you need to focus on today is resting.” He says watching with a sad smile as Asher makes himself comfortable once more on his pillows before he pulls the cover over his son.

Harold waits until his son's breaths have evened out before he picks up his phone from where he deposited it on the nightstand so that he can text his boss that he won't be coming in today.

 _I hope your son feels better soon. Take all the time off that you need._ Is Harold's boss's response that comes five minutes after he texted to explain that he needed to stay home with Asher today.

Letting out a long sigh Harold leans back against his son's headboard thankful that his boss has been so understanding through all of this, but it also breaks his heart about the reason why his boss understands.

A week after he returned to work after Asher’s breakdown his boss had called him into the office to explain that going forward, he was going to allow him to take all the time off he needed to help his son because he knew exactly what Harold was going through.

Two years earlier his boss had lost his nineteen-year-old son to suicide.

Hearing that made Harold want to cry for the other father's loss and because he was still coming to terms with how close he had come to losing his own son.

 _Thanks. I really appreciate all you've done for me and my son._ He replies back hoping that his boss knows how much he means every word of his text.

He wants to thank him for the job and for giving him a chance when a lot of other companies wouldn't even glance at his resume.

And he wants to thank him for giving him the time he needs to help his son through his darkest days.

And for giving him the chance to save his son's life when he knows his boss would do anything to be able to do the same thing.

 _I'm here son. I'm here._ He hopes is the message that he sends as he grasps his son’s hand in his own feeling thankful that he still has the chance to comfort him.

***

When Asher wakes up, he sighs as he still feels the weight of his depression still pressing harshly down on his chest before he pulls the cover even farther up over his head to block out the blinding sunlight.

“Hey, Ash.” JJ greets with a soft smile as he pulls back the cover slightly so that he can rake his hand through his boyfriend’s disheveled hair after he dropped his backpack onto the carpet beside Asher’s nightstand.

“JJ?” Asher asks blinking his eyes open in confusion when he finds JJ standing above him peering down at him with a look of deep concern in his blue eyes. “My dad called you didn’t he.” He exclaims fighting the urge to cover his head again with his comforter as he feels so embarrassed that his boyfriend now knows that he is having another depressive episode.

Another day of having to fucking struggle to even breathe.

“Actually, I called him.” JJ explains as he crouches down so that he and Asher are at eye level. “Because I knew when you didn’t respond to this that something was wrong.” He continues to explain after he unlocked his phone to show Asher the picture of himself standing in his bathroom with nothing on but a pair of skintight boxers that he had sent him earlier.

“Oh. I’m so sorry. I should have called you. I don’t know why the fuck I’m like this.” Asher bites out through gritted teeth as he feels nothing but hatred for himself for making everyone worry about him _again_.

“Asher it’s okay. I’m here because I want to be here for you.” JJ assures him as he slides his phone into his back pocket before he grabs a hold of his hand giving it a tight squeeze.

“No, you don’t understand JJ nothing is okay,” Asher exclaims as he tries to pull his hand away from his boyfriend's letting out a frustrated breath when JJ only tightens his hold around his hand.

“Just talk to me.” JJ insists giving his hand another tight squeeze.

“You deserve to be with someone who is happy,” Asher tells him with his voice breaking off at the end of his sentence.

“I’m happy that I’m with you,” JJ states lifting Asher's hand up to his lips before he presses a soft kiss to his knuckles.

“I have no idea why,” Asher says dropping his eyes to his dark grey sheets.

“Asher look at me please.” JJ insists waiting until his boyfriend reluctantly meets his gaze once more. “I meant it when I said that I want all of you.” He exclaims before planting another tender kiss to Asher’s knuckles letting his lips linger a moment longer on his skin. 

“But I…” Asher starts to object before JJ gently cuts him off.

“No buts,” JJ states shaking his head before he takes the slight nod that Asher sends him as an invitation to sit down next to him on the bed. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asks as he cups his cheek with his hand before rubbing his thumb along his cheekbone.

“It just feels like a heavy blanket that I can’t lift off of me,” Asher explains letting out a tired sigh feeling his body start to ache even more.

“Anything I can do to help?” JJ questions wanting nothing more than to do anything that he can to help the light return to his boyfriend’s eyes. 

“Just you being here with me is enough,” Asher tells him wishing that he had enough energy to smile.

“Okay,” JJ says with a nod feeling grateful that just his presence is helping Asher today when he knows that he needs to most.

“Will you lay me with for a while?” Asher wonders with a light blush heating up his cheeks.

“Only if you promise to lean on me for a while.” JJ counters with his lopsided grin spreading across his face.

“Sure.” Asher agrees before he scoots over making room for his boyfriend to lay down in his bed. 

“Is this, okay?” JJ asks as he pulls Asher in close to his chest before pressing a kiss to the top of his head after he smooths down his hair that was sticking up in different directions.

“Yeah,” Asher whispers inhaling the scent of JJ’s cologne that is helping to calm his nerves. “I’m sorry.” He apologizes closing his eyes as tears burn in his eyes again.

“It’s okay,” JJ assures him leaning back slightly as he places his hand under Asher’s chin before lifting his face so that their eyes lock. “You’re going to be okay too.” He affirms sending him what he hopes is a bright and confident smile.

“How do you know that?” Asher whispers his question blinking away his tears rapidly.

“Because you’re not alone anymore.” JJ states after he presses one of those ‘you can do anything’ kisses to his forehead before he pulls Asher in close to his chest once more.

***

Later after he had coaxed Asher out of his bed and downstairs to watch television with him and his dad and to eat some pizza that his dad ordered for them JJ glances over to his boyfriend to find that he is now picking the toppings off his half-eaten slice of pizza.

“Are you full?” JJ asks in a gentle tone as he nudges Asher on the shoulder.

“Yeah,” Asher says blankly with a nod. “I’m sorry dad. I wasted this piece.” He apologizes sending his dad a guilty look that his appetite wouldn’t allow him to eat the whole slice.

“No need to apologize son. And I’ll go put the leftovers in the fridge so that if you boys get hungry later you can heat it up.” Harold explains as he picks up the two half-empty pizza boxes from the coffee table.

“Thanks,” Asher says watching as his dad walks out of the living room before he turns his attention back to JJ. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to go on our date.” He apologizes stuffing his hands into the front pocket of his sweatshirt.

“No worries Ash. We can always go on another date.” JJ assures him as he grabs one of Asher’s hands out of his pocket before he laces their fingers together. “That is if you still want to.” He says with a smirk.

“Oh, I still want to Parker,” Asher tells him leaning in closer to JJ forgetting all about his dad who is still in the kitchen.

“That’s good Adams because I can’t wait to get you alone again,” JJ whispers in his ear before he presses a quick kiss to the skin next to Asher’s ear.

“What do you have planned for us?” Asher asks biting back a giggle when JJ’s breath tickles his skin.

“It’s a surprise,” JJ tells him with his smirk widening.

“I hate surprises though,” Asher states with a pout.

“You’re going to love this one,” JJ promises before he tickles Asher under the arm laughing along with him as he squirms to try to get away from him.

“It’s a wonderful sound to hear you both laughing again,” Harold states with a warm smile as he watches his son and his boyfriend laugh as if they don’t have a care in the world.

“Yes, it is.” JJ agrees after he stops tickling Asher who lets out a sigh of relief as he straightens his posture.

“Well, I’m going to head up to bed now.” Harold exclaims nodding toward the stairs deciding that Asher is in good hands now. “Thank you, JJ, for being here for Asher today.” He says turning his attention to his son’s boyfriend who now has his arm wrapped around Asher’s shoulders.

“No problem Mr. A. It was my pleasure.” JJ explains before kissing Asher on the cheek as he smirks at how his cheeks turn a dark shade of red.

“I’ll see you boys in the morning,” Harold tells them with a sly smile knowing that full well when he comes down the stairs at daylight in the morning that he is going to find both boys on the couch asleep.

“Good night dad,” Asher calls after his dad when he turns toward the stairs.

“Good night son,” Harold says over his shoulder running a hand over his tired face when he makes it to the landing pausing for a few moments to listen to the muffled voices of the boys on the first floor feeling for the first time today that his son is going to okay.

“So, it’s just the two of us now,” Asher states after he hears his dad’s bedroom door close upstairs.

“Yeah, it is.” JJ agrees with a nod.

“Can I kiss you?” Asher asks leaning in close to his boyfriend’s face.

“Ash as much as I love kissing you, we don’t have to do this right now,” JJ exclaims running his thumb along the sharp edge of Asher’s jawline.

“Why?” Asher asks feeling worried that he has done something wrong.

“Because you’ve had a heavy day and I don’t want you to do this because you feel like you owe me anything for being here for you,” JJ explains before he kisses the tip of his nose. 

“But you’ve been so nice to me,” Asher tells him with his brow creasing in confusion as he wants to do something to thank JJ for being there for him today. 

“Only because I care about you. And there’s no payment required for that.” JJ exclaims with a wide grin. “So, how about we enjoy a _Netflix_ binge session without the ‘ _chill’_ part?” He suggests as he pulls the blanket back over Asher’s lap before he spreads a small square of the black cover over himself barely covering his left leg.

“Sure. Can I lay my head in your lap?” Asher asks in a quiet voice after JJ selects a show for them to mindlessly watch until they fall asleep.

“Of course, you can babe,” JJ tells him with a warm smile before he shifts closer to the arm of the couch so that Asher will have room to stretch his legs out on the couch.

“Thank you for being here for me today JJ.” Asher says after he settles his head down in JJ’s lap as he relishes in his boyfriend's touch when he starts to run his fingers through his hair.

“You’re welcome, Ash,” JJ whispers looking down at Asher’s face he is filled with nothing but hope that he is going to be okay when he notices the small smile that is playing across his boyfriend's lips.

 _Tomorrow is a new day_. Asher thinks as he lets the sensation of JJ’s fingers massaging against his scalp make his eyes fall shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I would love to know what y'all thought about this second chapter and this story so far which I hope that you are enjoying reading! <3
> 
> And also, I would love to know any predictions that you have for this story in the coming chapters!
> 
> If you did enjoy this chapter, then please leave me a comment with your thoughts and/or a kudos! 
> 
> Your guy's comments and kudos make my day and make me smile! 💛
> 
> The next chapter is going to be called _Love Like This_ \- Asher and JJ will be having a special date at JJ's house. (This is my personal favorite chapter of the entire story) I am hoping to have it posted soon.


	3. Love Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asher is still coming to terms with the fact JJ wants to be with him and JJ is more determined than ever to show Asher just how much he loves him as they spend some special time together at his house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, y'all! 😊
> 
> I am so excited to be back with another chapter of this story and I hope that it finds each of you doing well!
> 
> So, in this chapter, JJ and Asher will be having a date at JJ's house. 
> 
> This chapter is a little longer than the last one, so I hope that's okay! 
> 
> This is my personal favorite chapter of this story! :D 
> 
> Please enjoy it! <3
> 
>  **Please Note:** This chapter does contain several topics such as depression, suicide, suicide attempts, and self-harm that could be triggering to some of you. So, if any of those topics could be triggering to you than please read with extra caution and care! <3

Two weeks after his depressive episode with the fogginess it left behind now cleared from his mind Asher is sitting in JJ’s long, circular driveway with the inside of his car growing colder with each minute that ticks by as his keys continue to dangle in the switched-off ignition.

 _Maybe I should_ … He starts to think before the fifth text from JJ lights up on his phone asking him if he is coming over for their date.

 _I just pulled in._ He hastily types back letting out a long breath since he hates how he just lied to JJ because he has been sitting in his driveway for the last ten minutes debating on whether he should go in or not. But he knows deep down below his self-doubt that he does in fact want to be here for their date.

Before he lets his thoughts talk himself out of going in, he pulls his keys out of the ignition before he opens his car door as he slides his phone into his back pocket patting his front pocket for the fifth time since leaving his house to make sure that the Ziploc bag containing the dosage of his medicine that he would need for tonight and the morning since JJ’s plans implied that he would be spending the night with him.

Inhaling a deep breath to ease his nerves he starts the short walk along the well-lit stone pathway that leads to the Parker’s ten-foot mahogany front door.

Asher waves at JJ through the frosted windowpane even though he can’t see him clearly as he feels more at ease at how quickly his boyfriend appeared at the door after he had rang the doorbell.

“Hey, Ash. I was wondering when you were going to get out of your car.” JJ exclaims after he leans in for a hello kiss.

“How did you know?” Asher asks not even bothering to try and deny the fact that he sat in the driveway for ten whole minutes before he came to the door as he sheepishly rubs at the back of his neck after he steps through the front door.

“Well, first off your hands are freezing,” JJ explains after he takes Asher’s hands in his own that are much warmer in hopes that he can warm them up. “And secondly our security cameras sent a notification to my phone when you pulled in.” He tells him remembering how happy he had been when he looked at the camera feed to see that it was Asher’s car in his driveway.

“God, I’m such a fucking idiot,” Asher exclaims dropping his gaze to the gleaming marbled floor underneath their feet thinking that he should never have come over as he tries to pull his hands out of JJ’s grasp but fails when he only tightens his hold.

“No, you’re not Ash.” JJ corrects pulling him in close so that his boyfriend’s cheek is now resting against the soft material of his black wool sweater.

“I’m sorry,” Asher whispers fighting back his tears.

“Babe you don’t have anything to be sorry for. I know this has all been an adjustment for you. And I want you here with me.” JJ assures him cupping the back of his head with his large hand before he presses a gentle kiss to his forehead before leaning his forehead against his. “So, whenever you’re ready I ordered us a shit ton of food from the restaurant.” He explains making no move to pull out of their embrace as he lets Asher lean into their embrace for as long as he needs.

“Okay. I’m ready.” Asher finally decides as he pulls back slightly out of their hug.

“I'm so glad you're here with me Ash,” JJ tells him as he cups either side of his face as he leans in close until their breath tickles against each other's skin. “Thank you for coming.” He says closing his eyes as he lets Asher be the one to connect their lips in a deep, passionate kiss.

“Thank you for asking me over,” Asher whispers against his lips after they pull back for some air.

“Of course, Ash,” JJ tells him with a wide grin as he takes his hand interlacing their fingers together after Asher slips off his shoes. “So, are you ready for some dinner?” He asks guiding them toward the kitchen where he and his grandma had spent hours on end cooking and baking while his parents were gone on their months-long business trips.

“I can eat,” Asher responds giving JJ's hand a gentle squeeze that he immediately returns.

“So, I ordered all of your favorites. Honey glazed boneless wings, sausage, and pepperoni pizza, and fried pickles.” JJ explains as he points to each item laid out in take-out containers on top of the dark-colored quartz countertop.

“Wow, thanks JJ,” Asher tells him blown away at his boyfriend's thoughtfulness that he has become more accustomed to that is underneath his party boy exterior.

“Anything for you Ash,” JJ exclaims with a wink before they both take a seat on the bar stools.

“You're my _real_ favorite though,” Asher admits with a wide grin lighting up his face that JJ wishes would never disappear again.

“That's why I'm going to be your dessert,” JJ says with a wink before he presses a quick kiss to Asher's smiling lips.

“I'm counting on that,” Asher tells him before turning back toward the food. “So, I guess you’re not trying to beat your own record of eating ninety-two wings today then?” He observes gesturing toward the twenty-piece container of wings.

“Not today since I almost did it at Jordan's Super Bowl party and well you know how that turned out,” JJ explains still remembering how it was months before he could eat wings again without being nauseous.

“I’ve never seen anyone vomit so much in my entire life,” Asher recalls stifling his laugh as he remembers how JJ's companion for the entire night had been the Baker's guest bathroom toilet.

“Don’t remind me.” JJ says even though he is smiling at the memory of how Asher had stayed with him the entire night in the vomit-stench-filled bathroom making sure that he took small sips of water so that he didn't get dehydrated.

“Fair enough.” Asher agrees taking a long drink of the ice water that JJ poured for him. “No, fine china?” He jokes after JJ hands him a paper plate.

“I was actually saving that for our third date.” JJ jokes back as they start to dish out the still warm food onto their plates.

“But really thank you for all of this JJ,” Asher says as he covers JJ's hand with his own that was resting between them on the countertop.

“Anything for you Ash,” JJ tells him after taking a bite of pizza before he leans over to kiss Asher on the cheek laughing when he sees he has left behind a smear of pizza sauce on his skin. “Um, you got a little something right here.” He says reaching for a napkin that he grabbed from the dispenser at the restaurant before he wipes the sauce away from Asher’s skin and then from his own lips so that he can place another soft kiss on his cheek this time without leaving anything behind except for a tingling sensation that turns Asher’s cheek a bright pink.

“I brought my meds with me for tonight and the morning,” Asher explains after a few moments of silence pass between them as they eat enjoying each other’s company.

“Good. I’m glad you did because that means you just accepted my invitation to spend the night.” JJ exclaims with a happy smile. “You can leave them on the kitchen island if you want to or wherever you feel comfortable with.” He tells him watching as Asher pulls the plastic bag containing his medications out of his pocket before he lays them next to the fruit bowl.

“Thanks,” Asher says hoping that JJ didn’t notice how his hands were shaking because taking his medication is still something that he is trying to become more comfortable with himself. “I showed my dad that I had the right dosage before I came.” He explains needing him to know that he is only taking what he needs and nothing more.

“I trust you, Ash,” JJ affirms giving his hand a tight squeeze hoping that it will be enough to stop them from shaking.

“So, have you gotten the chance to tell your parents about your scholarship to USC?” Asher asks after taking a long drink of water to coat his dry mouth and throat deciding to change the subject off of his medication as he beams with pride about how his boyfriend's dreams are coming true about him going to play college football.

“Yeah, I did,” JJ answers with a nod.

“Did you tell them about us?” Asher questions feeling nervous as he hopes that JJ's parents were as accepting of their relationship as his parents had been.

“Absolutely I told them about us before I even told them about my scholarship.” JJ tells him remembering how big his parents’ smiles were when he showed them a picture of him and Asher, he had snapped on their first date at mini golf when they had stopped on the small bridge during the fifth and sixth hole. “They said they were really happy for us.” JJ says placing his hand now over Asher's so that he can gently rub small circles across his skin.

“I'm glad they were okay with us being together,” Asher exclaims letting out a long breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding.

“There's no reason for them not to be because I told them that I am happier than I have ever been before now that I'm with you. And they told me that was all that was important to them was my happiness.” JJ explains with a warm smile.

“I'm so happy now too,” Asher tells him returning his smile.

“I know just by your smiles Ash. Like I'm surprised that your cheeks aren't sore by how much you smile.” JJ jokes with a teasing smile.

“You know they actually were sore for the first few days that we were together,” Asher says playing along with his joke.

“Well, I'm glad they got used to it because I don't want to ever see those beautiful smiles ever leave your face again,” JJ exclaims

“Oh, yeah? Well, I've got an idea of how we can both make each other smile tonight.” Asher states with an easy smile as he slips off his barstool and JJ swivels in his so that he is facing him.

“Oh yeah and what was it that you had in mind?” JJ questions draping his arms around Asher's neck as he widens the space between his legs so that his boyfriend can step in between them with ease.

“That we could start off by undressing each other really slowly. Asher explains resting his hands on top of JJ's muscular thighs. “Or we could do it quickly if you like.” He corrects with a smirk when he slides his right hand over the tent in JJ's jeans feeling his erection pulse underneath his touch causing JJ to shift on his seat before he thrusts his hips before wrapping his legs around his own.

“I would love nothing more than that Ash.” JJ tells him leaning in close before he captures Asher’s slightly parted lips in a hungry kiss letting a moan vibrate up the back of his throat when Asher allows his tongue the entrance into his mouth that it was craving. “Are you sure?” He asks after they pull apart to inhale much-needed oxygen to their burning lungs.

“I’m sure,” Asher promises with a smile before he moves back giving JJ the room, he needs to get off the barstool. “After you.” He whispers in JJ’s ear as he presses his front side up against JJ’s back as they walk out of the kitchen.

Without any warning, JJ turns around abruptly catching Asher by the arms as he almost trips over his feet before he captures his boyfriend’s lips in a surprise kiss because he wants nothing more than to taste him again as he continues to walk backward toward the double spiral staircase.

“I can’t wait to undress you _slowly_ ,” JJ says biting at Asher’s earlobe before he turns pulling him along with him up the stairs.

“I don’t need to keep the buttons on my shirt though,” Asher tells him arching his eyebrow suggestively after they reach the landing.

“Noted,” JJ says with a dark smile even though he has no intention of destroying Asher’s shirt because he loves that dark blue color on him before they half walk and half jog to his bedroom down the long hallway. 

JJ happily finds himself pressed up against his closed bedroom door with a smile on his lips as Asher captures his mouth in another hungry kiss.

“I want you no I _need_ you so fucking bad right now JJ.” He whispers against his lips as he leans his forehead that is already covered in sweat onto his.

“I need you too. But…” JJ whispers back before trailing off placing his hand firmly against his chest so that he can the feel the rhythmic beating of his heart through the thin material of his shirt.

“I’m okay. I’m feeling a lot better today.” He tells him covering his hand with his own slightly smaller one. “I’m okay.” He promises again letting his heart beat eight more times under his hand before he gently takes it in his own before pressing a kiss to his palm.

“Okay.” JJ finally decides interlacing his hand through Asher’s as the warmth from his lips is replaced by the warmth of his hand. “But we have to take things slow.” He instructs after he sits down on his mattress pulling Asher in close so that he can fit himself in between his legs.

“I don’t mind being up all night,” Asher says with a smirk as he slides his thumbs in JJ’s belt loops tugging the dark-colored denim down until the tops of his muscular thighs are exposed.

“Ash…” JJ warns in a stern tone trying his best to ignore the way his boyfriend’s fingertips brushing along his inner thighs is causing an electric feeling to spread throughout his body. “I just want to make sure you’re okay with this.” He explains reaching down to still Asher’s movements of slipping his hand inside the waistband of his black boxers as he grasps onto his hand.

“I promise JJ that I am more than ready for this. But first, let’s get you out of these jeans.” He says undoing the button on his pants so he can more easily slide them off.

“I have an idea of how we can take things even slower,” JJ exclaims with a teasing smile after he kicks his jeans off throwing them across the carpet out of the way.

“Oh, really…” Asher says with a curious twinkle in his eyes as he lets JJ take his hand as he stands up from the bed.

“The other day you wanted to shower together. So, how about we do that right now.” JJ offers pulling Asher along with him as he walks backward toward his bathroom door.

“Okay,” Asher says with a nod waiting for JJ to fumble with the doorknob before he throws the door to the bathroom open before he steps inside the large bathroom as the cold tiles underneath his bare feet causing him to shiver.

“Don’t worry we’ll heat things up really quick,” JJ tells him with a wink as he runs his hands up and down along Asher’s chill bump-covered arms. 

“I have no doubt,” Asher says with a smirk as he looks around the recently updated bathroom since the last time, he was over at JJ’s. “Your bathroom looks really great.” He compliments bringing his gaze back to his boyfriend’s handsome face.

 _Boyfriend — I am loving the sound of that._ He thinks as he focuses on how JJ is rubbing his thumbs along his pecs. 

“Yeah. But it’s only fun when I have you here with me.“ JJ exclaims before kissing him lightly on the lips. “You get in first while I go back and get us some clothes.” He tells him nodding toward the tall walk-in shower with a glass door. 

“Why do we need clothes?” Asher asks with his brow furrowing in confusion hating how when JJ lets go of his arms it leaves behind a coldness.

“Because I want to undress you on my own later,” JJ whispers leaning in close before he presses a firm but a quick kiss to his slightly parted lips. 

“Sure,” Asher says watching with an amused smile as JJ hurriedly walks out of the bathroom leaving the door open as he walks over to his closet.

Taking in a shuddering breath Asher turns catching his gaze in the mirror before he drops his eyes to look at his right wrist where he can still see the faint white lines from where he was self-harming.

 _What if he won’t like me anymore after he sees how many scars I actually have?_ He wonders with tears burning in his eyes as he bites his bottom lip to keep the tears from falling.

 _But he knows about the self-harming and he still says he wants to be with me._ He reasons meeting his gaze once more in the mirror before he presses the heels of his palms into his eyes to make the tears disappear.

 _He wants me here with him._ He reminds himself as he shakily starts to unbutton the buttons on his dark blue button-down shirt.

 _And I want to be here._ He affirms after he takes off his shirt followed by his boxers and jeans laying them in a semi neat pile on the mosaic tiles.

Stepping into the shower he looks at the various knobs not knowing which one will turn on one shower head instead of all three of them.

“It’s the one on the right,” JJ tells him as he steps in the shower closing the door before he presses his bare chest up against his boyfriend’s back as he snakes his arm around Asher so that he can reach the knobs. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He explains pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder after he felt Asher jump at his presence.

“It’s okay,” Asher tells him with a nervous smile as he turns away from the water to face JJ.

“You can open your eyes, Ash. We’ve both seen each other before in the locker room.” JJ explains with a chuckle as he reaches down to take Asher’s hand in his own.

“I know but it’s different now…” Asher exclaims keeping his eyes shut tight still not fully believing that this is real and that JJ wants him.

“It’s _better_ now.” JJ corrects lifting Asher’s hand up toward his face before he presses a soft kiss to his palm. “I want this and _you_.” He whispers running his thumbs along with Asher’s self-harm scars on his right wrist before he presses his lips to each line that makes his heart break every time, he sees them when he thinks about the pain that his boyfriend had been in before he knew what was going on.

“JJ…” Asher chokes out finally opening his eyes to find JJ looking at him with a look of such sincerity in his sky blue eyes that it makes his heart constrict.

“I was being completely honest with you Ash when I told you that I want _all_ of you,” JJ tells him as he cups his face in between his hands.

“I’m sorry…” Asher apologizes feeling foolish that he still can’t accept that someone wants him so real and true like this.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” JJ assures him as he runs his thumbs along the indentions under Asher’s cheekbones.

“I’m trying to accept that you want me,” Asher admits swallowing against the growing lump in his throat.

“Take all the time you need. Because I am going to show you how much I want you.” JJ assures him sealing his promise with a soft kiss to Asher’s lip loving the way that Asher finally kisses him back before he trails a hand down along his boyfriend’s chiseled abs. “You’re so amazing Ash.” He whispers against his lips before he trails a line of quick searing kisses along the sharp curve of his jawline not caring when his stubble pricks harshly at his lips.

“So are you,” Asher tells him leaning his head against JJ's soaked bare chest biting back a moan when his boyfriend's hand grips around his already hardened dick. “What happened to taking things slow?” He questions with no objection in his voice since he could cry at the fact that JJ is touching him so intimately.

“Oh, don't you worry. I'm just getting started.” JJ tells him wanting nothing more than to carry his boyfriend back to his bed but he knows he can't rush this.

“Are you going to wash your hair?” Asher asks after JJ releases his hold on him.

“Yeah.” JJ answers turning around to reach for his bottle of purple shampoo that is on the middle shelf in the back of the shower.

“Do you wash your hair twice or just once?” Asher questions after he squirts out a quarter-sized amount of shampoo.

“And waste this eighty-dollar shampoo no way,” JJ exclaims with a chuckle before he ducks his hair under the water streaming from the showerhead.

“Are you sure you want me to wash your hair?” Asher wonders cupping his hands together so that the shampoo doesn't fall into the water pooling at their feet until it washes down the drain.

“Absolutely,” JJ says with a nod as Asher starts to lather the shampoo in between his hands before he reaches up to spread the shampoo through his soaked hair. “God, Ash your hand jobs are great at those other massages too, but your fingers are even more fucking magical with a scalp massage.” He exclaims closing his eyes as he leans into his boyfriend's touch.

“Thanks,” Asher says with a light blush creeping across his face.

“Your turn,” JJ says after he rinses the shampoo from his hair before pressing a quick kiss to his lips and they switch positions so that Asher is now standing under the showerhead. “I have some

“Is it okay if I wash your body?” JJ asks after picking up the bottle of body wash.

“Yeah. But only if I get to wash yours too.” Asher exclaims turning his back toward the water.

“Of course, you can,” JJ tells him with a soft smile. “I've thought about doing this so many times.” He exclaims after he lathers an ample amount of body wash onto the washcloth before he rubs across Asher's broad chest following his movements with his eyes as he continues to wash his body.

“So, that's what you were thinking all those times you were staring off in space when we were taking showers in the locker room.” Asher wonders with a playful smile.

“Now you know,” JJ says with a wink as he watches the body wash rinse off of Asher's hot body before it disappears down the drain.

“It's your turn,” Asher tells him taking the washcloth and body wash from JJ.

They stand in the shower until the water turns cold and their fingertips are turned to prunes and their lips have turned red from all of their kisses that they've shared.

“Do you want to dry your hair or just let it air dry?” JJ asks kissing Asher's neck as he stands behind him after they have dried off and dressed in JJ's clothes.

“I'll just let it air dry since I think we both have some more fun things to get to,” Asher explains turning around to face JJ.

“I like the way you think Ash,” JJ tells him with a smirk as he starts to walk backward toward the door pulling Asher along with him.

“Well, you know what they say about great minds thinking alike,” Asher exclaims returning his smirk.

In one swift motion, JJ pulls Asher’s shirt well his shirt actually over his head before he throws it lazily across the room before his hands start to explore the bare skin on his chest once more.

“You’re so fucking handsome Ash.” JJ compliments after they slip off their boxers and shorts and Asher lays back against the mattress.

“You are too JJ.” Asher compliments him back as JJ fits himself in between his legs.

“Is it okay if I kiss you now?” JJ asks trailing his finger along Asher's cheekbone before he traces along the sharp edge of his jawline.

“Yeah.” Asher breaths out as he swallows down the moan that crawls up his throat when JJ's hard dick presses against his stomach.

“I wanted to ask you because I am about to kiss in places that I never have,” JJ explains licks his lips before planting a kiss next to his ear before he trails a line of small kisses down his neck and then moving to leave more kisses down his chest.

“JJ…” Asher chokes with a wave of panic searing through him as JJ's trail of kisses reaches dangerously close to his inner thighs.

“What is it, Ash?” JJ asks in concern when he hears the panic in his boyfriend's voice as he lifts his head so that he can catch his eyes finding them brimming with tears.

“You haven’t seen all of my scars yet,” Asher explains in a hushed tone turning his face toward JJ's hand when he cups it gently before brushing away a stray tear that escapes down his face with his thumb.

“I’ve seen the ones on your wrist and your calves,” JJ says wondering if maybe there is more scars on his boyfriend’s body that he hasn’t seen.

“I have other ones,” Asher tells him with his voice barely above a whisper confirming JJ’s worst fears.

“Where are they?” JJ asks gently brushing his still damp bangs out of his eyes.

“Can I show you?” Asher questions swallowing thickly when his voice comes out strained with emotion waiting for JJ's nod of confirmation before he spreads his legs until his inner thighs are fully exposed under the harsh bedroom lights.

“Oh, Ash I had no idea,” JJ exclaims wanting to scream and cry after he scans his eyes over the two dozen or so straight-line scars that line up and down Asher's pale skin of his thighs.

“I knew you would think I was ugly and a fucking disgrace if you saw them.” Asher bites out through his clenched teeth before sitting back up.

“What? No, Ash, I don’t think that at all. I could never think that about you.” JJ promises scooting closer to him as he grabs his hand.

“Well, why the hell not because that’s what I am,” Asher exclaims shaking his head not understanding how JJ likes someone like him.

“No, you’re not,” JJ assures him as he places his hand under his chin so their gazes can lock once more.

“Prove it to me,” Asher whispers holding onto the last thread of hope that he is worthy of JJ's love even though his skin marred with scar after scar.

“I can show you better,” JJ tells him pressing a kiss to his forehead before he slides back to the position he was in as he waits patiently for Asher to lay back in his same position.

With a shuddering breath, Asher hesitantly lays back on the mattress as JJ braces his hands on the mattress along either side of his hips sending him an encouraging smile before he slowly traces each of his self-harm scars along his inner thighs with his index finger feeling Asher shiver underneath his touch before he leans his head down so that he can press a tender kiss to each line that is etched into his boyfriend’s chill bump covered skin.

“JJ I…” Asher starts to say before his voice breaks off as tears start to stream down his face how much he can feel JJ's love through each kiss he presses against his skin.

“You're the most amazing person that I know. And you're one of the strongest people that I've ever met Ash. And I am so grateful every day that you chose to be with me.” JJ tells him after he crawls across the mattress until he is hovering over top of Asher.

“I'm trying my best to see what you see in me,” Asher explains wishing that he felt the same on the inside about himself as what JJ saw so easily in him.

“I know and I'm going to tell you every day until you see it too.” JJ promises before he leans down to press one of those ‘you can do anything' kisses to Asher's waiting lips.

“I'm grateful that you chose me too,” Asher tells him against his lips after they reluctantly pull apart. 

“I love you, Asher.” JJ states as he looks deeply into his boyfriend's eyes hoping that he is able to convey just how much he loves him with the look in his eyes. 

“I love you too JJ,” Asher whispers back with tears of joy streaming down his face that JJ loves him so truly and deeply like this.

JJ isn't surprised when he feels tears soaking his own cheeks as he wipes away Asher's tears as they continue to fall from his bright blue eyes.

“I love you so fucking much babe,” JJ says through his tears before he plants a tender kiss to his boyfriend's salty tasting lips before as he rests his cheek against Asher's flushed cheek with their tears mixing together as he interlaces his right hand through Asher's left one.

“I love you too baby,” Asher tells him as he threads his fingers through JJ's short platinum blonde hair.

 _How did I get so lucky to find a love like this?_ Asher wonders as their lips connect once more in the deepest kiss that they have ever shared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I would love to know what y'all thought about this third chapter and this story so far which I hope that you are enjoying reading! <3
> 
> And also, I would love to know any predictions that you have for this story in the coming chapters!
> 
> If you did enjoy this chapter, then please leave me a comment with your thoughts and/or a kudos! 
> 
> Your guy's comments and kudos make my day and make me smile! 💛
> 
> The next chapter is going to be called _These Turning Tables_ \- Asher will be getting the chance to comfort JJ when he needs him.
> 
> And I was thinking about doing a sequel to this story about when they go to college so please let me know if you guys would be interested in reading it! 😊

**Author's Note:**

> So, I would love to know what y'all thought about this first chapter and this story so far which I hope that you are enjoying reading! <3
> 
> And also, I would love to know any predictions that you have for this story in the coming chapters!
> 
> If you did enjoy this chapter, then please leave me a comment with your thoughts and/or a kudos! 
> 
> Your guy's comments and kudos make my day and make me smile! 💛
> 
> The next chapter is going to be called _Lean On Me_ \- Asher will be experiencing his first depressive episode since being on his medication.
> 
> And here is a look ahead at the chapter names for the rest of the story:
> 
> •Chapter Two: _Lean On Me_  
>  •Chapter Three: _Love Like This_  
>  •Chapter Four: _These Turning Tables_  
>  •Chapter Five: _Together We Can_
> 
> Let me know which chapter you are most excited to read! My personal favorite is chapter three! 😉


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